Counselling and Mindfulness

Category: Blog (Page 1 of 8)

Psychology, counselling, mental health issues, writing, poetry – and maybe more

Well-being must come before academics. Fullstop.

Prioritizing well-being over learning in schools is crucial for the overall development of students and teachers. An article by Kavyapriya Sethu in 2021, emphasises how prioritizing student well-being benefits not just students but also teachers and parents. It helps build and maintain better relationships, especially with teachers and peers, and promotes greater self-awareness, resilience, and responsible decision-making. Similarly, prioritizing teacher well-being is critical since only teachers with good mental health will be in a strong position to support students facing challenges of their own (as Henry May, CEO of Coschool & Founder of The Huracan Foundation, writes in 2022 LinkedIn post). 

Prioritizing well-being during term time is about the small things that individuals do regularly to maintain and nourish their health and well-being. Adrian Bethune writes that a staggering 18% of the almost 8000 respondents in a teacher well-being survery said they never prioritised their own well-being. 51% said they only managed to at the weekends.  A Council of Europe report states that schools need to adopt a framework where well-being is a fundamental component. This can be difficult to achieve, but it is essential to create an overall sense of well-being in a person. 

Parents also agree that pupils’ well-being is more important than academic results, as this research, carried out by YouGov for the Youth Sport Trust outlines. 

We know it’s crucial. So how do we go about it? Watch this space.

Citations:

https://www.teachappy.co.uk/post/prioritising-your-wellbeing-what-it-means-and-why-we-all-should-be-doing-it

https://www.orah.com/blog/4-reasons-why-schools-should-prioritize-student-well-being

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-prioritising-wellbeing-teachers-so-critical-2022-henry-may-

https://www.coe.int/en/web/campaign-free-to-speak-safe-to-learn/improving-well-being-at-school

https://www.youthsporttrust.org/news-insight/news/parents-say-wellbeing-in-school-is-more-important-than-academic-results

Are you looking forward to having your teen at home for the summer?

Let’s be honest, it’s not always easy. But here are some suggestions for making it not only a bearable time, but a beneficial and bonding time. Summer can be a wonderful time for families to create lasting memories with their teenage kids. Here are some suggestions on how to make the most of the summer together:

Plan your family holiday: Involve your teenage kids in the planning process. Discuss various destinations and activities, and let them have a say in choosing where to go. This helps give them a sense of agency, making them feel more involved and excited about the trip.

Get outside: Take advantage of the decent weather and plan outdoor activities such as hiking, camping, biking, or picnics. We all know there’s initial push-back and reluctance to get started, but kids inevitably end up enjoying their time with you.

Try something new: Encourage your teenage kids to explore their interests and try new things during the summer. It could be learning a musical instrument, trying out a new sport, or engaging in a creative hobby. Support changing interests and provide them with the resources or lessons they need. Not everything has to be a ‘passion’ and finding out that you DON”T like something can be of value too!

Volunteer together: Engage in community service or volunteer work as a family. Find local organisations or initiatives that align with your family’s values and spend time together contributing to a cause you care about. This helps teenagers develop empathy, compassion, and a sense of social responsibility.

Family game nights or movie nights: Dedicate regular evenings for family get-togethers. Play board games, card games, or video games together. Pick a movie or series that everyone in the family can enjoy. This fosters healthy competition, communication, and laughter, creating strong family bonds. And don’t neglect a discussion of themes that come up whilst you’re watching something together.

Explore cultural activities: Yes, they’ll moan, but visit museums, art galleries, or attend cultural events and festivals together. Expose your teenage kids to different forms of art, history, or performances. This can spark their curiosity and broaden their perspective, and they will, one day, thank you for it. Just maybe not this summer.

Cooking: Involve your teenage kids in meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking. Organise barbecue parties where everyone contributes to the preparations. This not only teaches them valuable life skills but also strengthens family bonds while enjoying your favourite food. Making a pizza from scratch is a great life-skill!

Family book club: Have an avid reader at home? Select a book that appeals to all family members, or bite the bullet and read something your teen is reading and start a family book club. Set aside time to read together and have discussions about the book’s themes, characters, and lessons. This encourages reading and intellectual engagement.

Relaxation and downtime: Having said all this, don’t over plan! While it’s essential to plan some activities, also ensure there is time for relaxation and downtime. Let your teenage kids have the freedom to pursue their individual interests or simply enjoy some quiet time. There’s a lot to be said for letting kids experience boredom without rescuing them straight away. This balance allows for recharging and personal growth.

Remember, the key is to involve your teenage kids in the planning process, listen to their ideas and interests, and create a supportive and enjoyable environment for everyone. Have open communication, be flexible, and cherish the time spent together as a family.

Wishing you a great summer break!

Can listening to music improve your well-being?

Can listening to music really make significant (i.e. scientifically verifiable) changes in mood?

In short, yes it can.

There’s much anecdotal evidence for this. Some swear by Mozart for studying effectively, mood music clearly affects temperament in mindfulness meditation, for example. And we are probably all familiar with the adolescent ‘choosing to feel down’ choices of sad songs.

But where is the science on this?

In 2019 a randomised controlled study took two groups of participants in their research on adult ADHD. The first group listened to Mozart’s music (KV 448) for 10 min while the second group remained in a silent room for 10 min (silence group). The researchers assessed subjective arousal and mood in participant before and after the intervention and showed that music listening led to a decrease in negative mood (sadness and hopelessness) in the ADHD group as well as in healthy controls. (Zimmermann et al., 2019)

Listening to music before, during, or after surgery significantly decreased patients’ pain and anxiety and reduced their use of pain medications subsequent to surgery. (Mayor, 2015)

In looked into the effects of music on rats which had been heavily treated with simvastatin ( which is used to lower cholesterol for those diagnosed with high blood cholesterol. It’s also taken to prevent heart disease, including heart attacks and strokes). Rats exposed to music (Mozart’s piano sonata, KV361 in this case) 24 hours before a stress-induing maze exercise showed reduced anxiety levels compared to control groups (da Cruz et al., 2001). Of course, we can’t be certain that this transfers to human experience, but we can hypothesise that it probably would.

Another interesting study in 2020 considered the effects of music on pregnant women. Their research concluded that ‘Music combination between murotal and music kitaro has a significant effect on reducing anxiety of third trimester pregnant women.’ (Sumaningsih et al., 2020)

Another recent study specifically researching undergraduates’ responses to music listening found that music provided regulation in preparation for stressful events and that music listening increases mindfulness following a stressor. (Groarke et al., 2019)

This is a far from comprehensive review of the current literature, just 5 studies. There are hundreds. The renowned neurologist Dr. Michael Schneck has shown that classical music helps relieve anxiety. Other studies have found that it also increases blood flow by 26%, laughter by 16% and relaxation by 11%.

How does the science translate actions you can take to reduce anxiety and stress?

We know that connecting with other people who are going through the same things we are – think support groups – is a very effective way to get over any mental health challenge. Similarly, sad and melancholic music can achieve the same thing. Sad music validates our own emotions of sorrow, grief or loneliness and permits us to feel them more fully.

You can try simple experiments yourself, with your own choices of music, journalling your responses and finding your own very personal cocktail for well-being. Sitting and intentionally listening to music can be a powerful way of re-centering yourself and connecting to the present moment.

Why not build ten minutes of music into your daily routines and see what happens?

Here’s a free mindfulness track you could use: https://insighttimer.com/scottlangston/guided-meditations/everyday-life-listening-to-music

References

da Cruz, J. G. P., Dal Magro, D. D., de Lima, D. D., & da Cruz, J. N. (2001). The Power of Classic Music to Reduce Anxiety in Rats Treated with Simvastatin. Basic and Clinical Neuroscience, 2(4), 5–11. Iran University of Medical Sciences.

Groarke, J. M., Groarke, A., Hogan, M. J., Costello, L., & Lynch, D. (2019). Does Listening to Music Regulate Negative Affect in a Stressful Situation? Examining the Effects of Self‐Selected and Researcher‐Selected Music Using Both Silent and Active Controls. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being. https://doi.org/10.1111/aphw.12185

Mayor, S. (2015). Listening to music helps reduce pain and anxiety after surgery, review shows: BMJ, h4398. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.h4398

Sumaningsih, R. `, Rahayu, T. P., & Santosa, B. J. (2020). Effects of Classical Music, Natural and Murottal Music on Fetal Well-Being. Health Notions, 4(7), 222–225. https://doi.org/10.33846/hn40704

Zimmermann, M. B., Diers, K., Strunz, L., Scherbaum, N., & Mette, C. (2019). Listening to Mozart Improves Current Mood in Adult ADHD – A Randomized Controlled Pilot Study. Frontiers in Psychology, 10. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01104

Online Counselling

Online counselling, sometimes referred to as teletherapy or e-therapy, is a form of mental health treatment delivered remotely, as the name suggests, online. The value of online counselling is becoming increasingly recognized as technology continues to evolve and more people seek out convenient and accessible mental health services.

One of the main benefits of online counselling is its convenience. You can receive therapy from the comfort of your own home, without the need to travel to a physical office. This can be particularly beneficial for individuals who live in rural areas or who have mobility issues that make it difficult to leave their home. Additionally, online counselling allows you to schedule therapy sessions at times that are convenient for you, which can be helpful for those who have busy work or family schedules.

Another benefit is accessibility. Online counselling is often more affordable than in-person therapy, making it a more accessible option for many individuals. Additionally, online counseling can help to reduce the stigma associated with seeking mental health treatment, without the need to visit a specific location.

Online counselling is, in many cases, just as effective as in-person therapy. Research has shown that online counselling – in particular CBT –can be just as effective as in-person therapy in treating a variety of mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Online counselling can also be beneficial for students, as it allows them to access therapy services on campus and continue with their studies.

However, it is important to note that online counselling is not suitable for everyone. For example, if you are in crisis or are experiencing severe mental health issues you may require in-person therapy. Additionally, online counselling is not going to be appropriate for individuals who have difficulty technology like Zoom or Whereby, or who do not have access to a stable internet connection.

Online counselling is a valuable option for individuals seeking mental health treatment. The convenience, accessibility, and effectiveness make it an attractive option for many people. Why not find out for yourself with a free 15 consultation?

2023

Streamlining my online presence this year. I’m retiring the ExpatCounsellingNow website and migrating the essential content here. As a full time school counsellor, my capacity for running an online counselling service has clearly diminished. I’m loathe to shelve the project entirely, given three years of hard work and satisfying connections.

I’m not sure how long I’ll linger in a full time school role, and have ambitions to revisit online counselling support as a principle activity, maybe working more with International School Counsellors and Administrators.

The Christmas Cynic

I’m not sure to reconcile the way I feel about Christmas with the way I feel about Christmas.

I think maybe Tim Minchin sums it up best in ‘White Wine in the Sun’ (full lyrics here)

‘I really like Christmas
It’s sentimental, I know, but I just really like it
I am hardly religious
I’d rather break bread with Dawkins than Desmond Tutu, to be honest’

He goes on to say he quite likes the carols, though the lyrics are dodgy. I woke up with Cliff Richard’s ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ in my head after watching a Christmas movie last night. So I fixed his lyrics for him. As I said, I’m a bit confused about how I feel about Christmas…

Mistletoe and Wine…

The child is a king, the carolers sing
BUT FOR BILLIONS OF PEOPLE, NO
Dreams of Santa, dreams of snow
WE’LL RUB THEIR FACES IN THE SEASONAL SHOW

Oh, it’s Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
COMMERCE ATTACKS WITH ITS ANNUAL CRIME
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree.
ITS A GOOD TIME TO FOCUS ON WHAT WE WANT TO SEE

A time for living, a time for believing
TO IGNORE FOR A WHILE WHAT SCIENCE IN REVEALING
Love and laughter and joy ever after
AS THE PLANET HEATS UP FASTER AND FASTER

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
CONSUMERISM OR THE DEVINE?
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
LET’S ALL JUST FOCUS ON WHAT WE WANT TO SEE

It’s a time for giving, a time for getting
WE’RE ALL JUST AIDING AND ABETTING
Christmas is love, Christmas is peace
OR JUST AN EXCUSE FOR THE PLANET TO FLEECE

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
I’M ALRIGHT JACK, WHAT’S MINE IS MINE
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
AND WE’LL ALL JUST SEE WHAT WE WANT TO SEE

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
WE’D LIKE TO CARE BUT JUST DON’T HAVE THE TIME
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
ITS TOO EASY TO FORGET THIS TRAJECTORY

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
COMMERCE ATTACKS WITH ITS ANNUAL CRIME
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to REINFORCE INEQUALITY

Christmas time (Silent night) Mistletoe and wine (Holy night)
CAPITALISM GONE MAD BY DESIGN
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time to ENGAGE IN GUILT-BLIND GLUTTONY

Photo by Taisiia Shestopal on Unsplash

Never stop dreaming

Never stop dreaming

‘What if’ scheming

Never accept the limitations

Or the humiliations

Of an imperfect reality

Or passing calamity

Never stop dreaming

The silent screaming

Knocking at the door

Certain there’s more

Dare to take another step

Another single step

Sensual sips of the first coffee

Sensual sips of the first coffee

Watching the birds

My transition, my calm

A spirit floating free

Unfettered by words

Dawn’s soothing balm

Here and now content to be me

Hardly absurd

A nagging ego disarmed

Letting go grants freedom to be

My essence heard

My cloistered psalm

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